Temptation was it?
Maybe greedyness?
Well, were they gently plucked?
My Plums
Did they soothe your buds?
The fresh, sweet, bitter taste
Your plums?
Were they delicately bit into?
Did the exquisite red juice shower into your mouth?
WAS IT NICE?
My plums?
Did you scream softly with anxiety?
Take it.
Have them all
Your plums.
This is great, Sirin! You select words which convey a great deal of subtle meaning - a lot can be inferred about the characters' relationship. The repetition of question marks suggests the speaker is spitting out the words in rage.
ReplyDeleteJust one thing: why did you choose to juxtapose 'sweet' and 'bitter'?
Excellent work. Well done.
Pragmatics - She's angry but being sarcastic at the same time. "Take it. Have them all... Your plums"
ReplyDeleteThe immaculate amount of question marks refer that the character is really confused, the effect of the question marks makes the audience want to answer the questions even though there rhetorical questions
ReplyDeleteWell well well... Where can I, should I start? Thoughts of the under meaning in your monologue seems 'delicately bit' in pieces of enticement. This is due to the words being used, portraying ideas of a minor description of her eating the plum rather then him. In saying this, it seems that she is reflecting a touch of 'temptation' in a sexual way.
ReplyDeleteSentences that refer to screaming 'softly in anxiety' also pull the idea of seductive.
In a sense, it seems that the writer wants to leave the reader wanting more in a cliché manner of speaking
If you was going for more of a irritated, sarcastic feel, however, maybe have sniggering remarks within the monologue.
All in all, though, great piece of work.